Week 4 of the studio’s 40 Day Yoga Challenge had the theme of RESTORATION, as in revival, renewal, renovation. For me and for other group members, this was a difficult week. For me in particular, “rest” isn’t part of my regular vocabulary. And not because I don’t want or need to rest, but because I feel obligated to embrace the hustle of being my own boss. My partner often says to me, “You’re always so busy, always going. Why don’t you relax?” To which I usually reply, “Old habits die hard- I’m a work in progress.”
Another lifetime ago, I was even busier than I am now, always moving, always doing, always busy finishing one task and simultaneously starting a new one. Manic cleaning sessions (Marie Kondo who?). Dealing with the physical world and spaces I could control- kids, laundry, cooking, exercise, work, etc.- was a way to distract me from the emotional wreck that was life married to an alcoholic. It took many years (still married) to talk myself into making time for rest, to learn to re-frame what was happening (“Other people’s problems are not your problems.”), and learning to say NO to the same old same old, and YES to something new. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
I got divorced. I got a puppy. I went camping- alone- to get in touch with nature. I took vacations by myself. I took a hard look at what commitments were essential to my health and well being, and started saying NO to so many things that didn’t fit me.
Fast forward to the present: do I still over schedule myself? Of course. My business/livelihood takes up a good chunk of my days, and honestly it’s a lot of energy exerted. But I love it, and the work I get to do fills up my cup. Gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) nudges from my partner help me regain perspective and schedule some “me time,” and I’m always grateful for his advice: self care isn’t selfish, it’s self preservation.
So Week 4 had me saying no to filling up my schedule with massage clients, and saying yes to a spa pedicure. And that got me thinking that perhaps I need to schedule that restorative time for myself rather than waiting until I get close to the edge of burn out, and then scrambling to find time. It’s never too late to start something new.
Until next time, friends.