Hello and welcome to Week One! I’m glad we’re able to connect during this transitional time: not only have I transferred my physical studio space to a new yogi (making me entirely virtual for the time being), but I’ve sold my home and my car, and moved to Portugal for the next few months. Phew! That’s a lot.
I have to admit that I was pretty nervous and anxious about everything. I mean, what if I hated being transient for the rest of the calendar year? What if I missed owning a home? What if I regretted handing over the studio to someone new? What if I hated not having a car when I returned to the states? Add on top of these big “what ifs” was the fact that much of my time would be without my partner, just me and our son. One-year-olds and international travel? Oof. That’s a lot.
About two weeks after I left Michigan and my partner returned to work in the U.K., I almost had a breakdown. Almost said “fuck it,” and tried to come up with an alternate plan to the one I had worked diligently towards for months. I hadn’t purchased my plane ticket to Portugal yet, still had my car at this point, and was falling into a steady rhythm of hanging out with my son, taking long walks in the early-slightly-less-sticky-evenings Central Florida had on offer, plus spending weekends with my daughter and son-in-law near Tampa. Isn’t it funny how we can distract ourselves with being busy doing nothing urgent, and yet we convince ourselves that we are SO BUSY? The moment I realized that this new routine was me being resistant to change- big change, mind you- was the moment I had to talk myself into being brave enough to say “fuck it,” but with different intent: let’s see what happens vs. I like my comfort zone.
How many times have you been in that same place? It seems that every year around this time, the splendor of Early Fall gives way to the dinge of Deep Fall, and many of us do what we’ve always done: put away the patio furniture and flip flops, bundle up, and complain. *Raises hand and waves it wildly*
But what if we softened our resistance to the changes happening around us, to us, by our own hand? What if we were able to welcome changes and see them as opportunities for growth instead of something to tolerate? What if we were able to acknowlege that many times when we think we’re enduring whatever is on our plate- seasonal changes, job changes, friendship or relationship changes, location changes- we’re not really coping, but are failing to honor our best interests by being…apathetic. Wouldn’t that be something? To be able to get unstuck? That would be a lot.
So what’s happening now for me? Well, I’m in Portugal typing this blog post, for starters. I don’t miss owning a home as much as I thought. I do worry about the studio and the people who helped me build a true sangha, but am confident I left them in kind, loving and eager hands. And the car? Ahhhh…I never liked that fucking Prius.
As we move through these next few weeks together, I’ve committed to being more open to taking what’s on offer, and to being intentionally positive in the face of any challenges. I’m ready to get back into a regular physical practice- my body, mind and spirit need the connection that only happens for me on the mat. And I’m ready to hear what challenges you’re facing, both on and off the mat, and how we can help navigate these changes together, the only resistance being against any hesitancy to sharing. I know it’s a lot, but sharing lightens the load.
Until next time friends,
Rachel