dichotomy noun- division into two parts, often contradictory
juxtaposition noun- placing side by side to compare and contrast
At first glance, you could think that the two words presented are synonyms. And while they are similar, they’re not really the same. What may start as an exercise in juxtaposition- say, trying to choose between a cruise to the Bahamas and a beach front resort in Mexico- often ends up, after careful study, to be a dichotomy.
Both options in the example above have sunshine, tropical temperatures, and water. But look closer and see the details that will ultimately have you choose one over the other: maybe you’ll prefer the sand and solitude of that beach front to the constant entertainment and predetermined itinerary of the cruise. Maybe you’ve already decided on one option before you realize you’d actually prefer the other. Buyer’s remorse, you might even call it.
But is that bad?
This week our focus has been on the space between “no longer” and “not yet.” I’ve been asking you to “Honor the In Between,” which is not really a compromise as much as it is asking you to be mindful about the goals you set and the choices you make.
Can you (whispers) have it all? It’s the old “have your cake and eat it, too” dilemma.
There are just as many articles, essays, songs,etc. that say you can have it all as there are to suggest that you cannot. Think about how people tend to sacrifice one area of their life in order to have the other (work/life balance, anyone?!).
Well, I’m on Team Have It All, and for me it boils down to two things: 1) knowing specifically what you want, and 2) knowing the work needed to reach that goal. More succinctly:
1) Define it - Name it - Own it
2) Get ready - Dig in - Make it happen
If you can complete step one, you’ve likely done one of my favorite things: made a list! Pros/cons, compare/contrast, advantages/disadvantages and so on…and you might look at those lists and notice dichotomies and juxtapositions and say to yourself “not yet.” If we are being mindful throughout the process, we can recognize that those two words do not equal failure, rather they’re the wisdom of admitting we need help, either from outside sources or in the form of taking our goal and breaking it down into more manageable steps.
So as we move through Week Two towards Week Three, maybe your assignment is to really work on number one (above). Define your most precious goal, use all the tools at your disposal to hone in on it, name it, and then own it. And if after all that work you need to press the pause button and say “not yet,” well then so be it. Honor the In Between, remember?
Until next time, friends.