I have a Word Of The Year this year- an idea I saw on an Instagram account, of all places- and have decided to dedicate myself to embodying and embracing the word rather than some soon-to-be-discarded resolution. My word? CHALLENGE.
Every time I pause before making a decision, I'll challenge myself to do the opposite of what I normally would do. For instance, the other morning I woke to my alarm at 4:30 am to ready myself for a 5:00 am workout at the gym with a couple of clients. I drove to the gym, and didn't see either person's vehicle, so I checked my messages, expecting to see a text saying “on my way” or “running late five minutes.” Instead, I saw one message bowing out due to a sick child; I sent a quick text to the other client, and they had already gone back to bed. So I had a choice to make: go home and go back to bed myself, or go inside and do my workout alone.
Remembering my WOTY, I got out of the car and went inside to do my workout. If I had not stopped and remained in the moment- PRESENCE!- and challenged myself, I'd have thought about the warm blankets on my bed the entire drive back home, ignoring the messages my body was sending me to move and sweat.
Mantra: I am patient with my process of transformation.
Mantra: I am patient with my process while staying focused on my desired outcome.
Mantra: I am patient with myself when I recognize I am not present in the moment.
What does it really look like to be present? Is it your phone face down on the table during lunch with a friend? Or is it keeping it in your bag or coat pocket? Is it asking your family about their day over dinner? Or is it waiting until the meal is complete & then moving the conversation to the sofa or a cozy nook away from electronics? Is it choosing the quick food option? Or is it using healthy, whole foods to nourish your body?
KNOW BETTER, DO BETTER is the battle cry. But so often we reach for the lowest hanging fruit and call it enough.
For me, presence in practice is so much more than a determined focus on one thing; it is acknowledging that my time and attention are currency and also a gift. It is fighting with my monkey mind to give up a bit of chaos for a bit of control; it is remembering that splitting my attention benefits no one, especially myself.
Remember that presence is really about giving and receiving: it feels good to give your time and attention to others, and it feels good to be on the receiving end as well. It is a means of communication with those you love: when you give, you're saying “I see you. I care about you. You are important to me.” Likewise, when you receive, you're saying “I appreciate you. I appreciate what you have to offer. What you give is enough. You are enough.”
When we give, our intention matters, it is energy that we are sharing with those we love. Being the recipient of a gift can be especially vulnerable, too; allowing others to see your appreciation gives them a glimpse of what's inside you, and that reflection of self then, is a gift, and receiver becomes giver.
Give the gift of presence to those around you. Give the gift of presence to yourself. Living in the moment- rather than holding on to past, or projecting into the future- is a gift that starts within you; the joy and calm you receive will multiply and reach those you love.
Until next time, friends.