This past week, I sent a link to the people taking part in the studio's 40 Day Challenge. The piece talks about repentance and forgiveness, and how both of those things bring up feelings of shame and resentment, how they're difficult to grapple with, and how all of this can contribute to our sense of self. The author lays out four steps (Jewish teachings) to making the shift away from ego and towards truth: recognition of a mistake made, apologizing to those you've hurt, repair the damage done, and making sure the same doesn't happen again.
fallible (adj.)- capable of being mistaken; erring
Often times we resist moving through the steps laid out in the article because the third step- repairing the damage done- is so difficult. Repairing damage involves making additions or deletions to what we think we know ourselves to be; the recognition of our own fallibility is truly part of being curious about and open to the process of discovering "self." And that journey is one we fight against taking more often than not.
So much fighting! Another piece I sent to our 40 Day Challengers spoke to our internal fight between "get" and "got." Our society is definitely a consumer-driven one, and I think we've all been guilty at one point or another of coveting "the next best thing." The disconnect in balancing needs vs. wants comes when we strive to "get" something, then have no idea what to do once we've "got" whatever it is. Our thought process is stunted, incomplete because our actions were self-directed. Redirecting our thoughts and actions towards a "give" mindset then is a way to help us move forward on that journey of discovering "self."
No matter how far you have gone down a wrong road, turn back.
- Turkish proverb
Once we commit to acting in a way that reflects our true self, we begin to see shifts in every aspect of our lives. Admitting that we're imperfect or susceptible to doing others harm is just one step; committing to not reacting to situations in a way that causes others- or ourselves!- harm is just as important. We must continue to call ourselves out on not being true to ourselves. Self harm causes distress in our relationships with others just as often as with ourselves.
Reminder: ignored behavior becomes accepted behavior.
Think about the behaviors you routinely brush off as part of your personality or as harmless or "no big deal." And now think about how those behaviors reflect on YOU, on your true self, on your relationships with those you love. Don't allow yourself to become complacent; continue on the journey to reveal your true self with thoughts, eyes, hands and heart wide open. It's the best way to facilitate growth.
Until next time,
XO Rachel